Today is the sabbath and we are sitting in our room in the Value Place motel listening to a sermon by Dr. Ward about Joseph. On our last sabbath in Houston, Mr. Sappington spoke about Joseph and how God worked through him to fulfill his purpose for his life. God gave Joseph dreams telling him of what was to come. As I listen to the sermon, I can’t help but to recall different dreams that God gave to me telling me of the things that would happen in my life and come to pass. One important lesson that I’ve learned over the years is that God works things out in his own time, not ours.
The dream that immediately came to mind was when Clam and I were dating as interns at GE, God showed me that Clam was going to work for GE. At that time, it was nearing the end of the summer and Clam was interviewing for a permanent position with the company. I believed the dream whole-heatedly, but I was disappointed when he didn’t get the job that summer. We went on to get married and Clam was working for a different company. Maybe a year or two into our marriage, He had another interview with GE and he got the job. I praised God, but kept in mind that everything is worked out in God’s timing and that my dream came to pass.
Now, we are in Alexandria, LA, some 9 or so years after having that dream because Clam just got a promotion that required us to move here. I’m grateful for his promotion, but at the same time I’m struggling to stay positive regarding things being worked it in my favor. I was beginning to do vey well in Houston and August was one of the busiest months that I’d had in a while since we’d moved there.
I feel like I don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing with my photography and hope that I figure it out soon. I can remember a bright shining moment from when I was in photography school regarding my future and that I would be a great and possibly well-known photographer. I know it was a dream of sorts, but I don’t exactly remember the details of it. I just remember this moment where a knowing took place, a certainty that I was on the right path heading in the right direction.
I feel like I’m falling apart and very unsure of which direction to go in. I feel like I’m getting further and further from where I want and need to be. Funny thing is that in the back of my mind I know that I’m exactly where God wants me to be. It doesn’t feel good and I don’t know how long it’s going to last, I just know that I need to hold on. All this week I have been getting messages of encouragement from all around me. Quotes about people giving up when they were one step away from their goal, a recurring message about the life of Joseph and how long it took him to get where he was supposed to be anyhow God worked things out for the best, messages about holding on and inspiration quotes from toastmasters have been coming to me all week.
I know that this is all a part of God’s plan, I just need to continue to be patient. We’re here for Clam’s promotion and The Boy is going to a great school as he desired, I’m just wondering what’s Here for me? Maybe nothing. Maybe the next place will be for me. I don’t know. Or maybe there’s more here for me than I can even imagine and this is exactly what I need to force me into being what and who God has called me to be. I just hope that I can keep a positive attitude & keep my mind stayed on God & his will for my life. “Everything will work out for my good. God has my best interest in heart and has been working out his plan years in advance.”
“And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not. “(Galatians 6:9 KJV)